you blink

most of the time when i write i sit there staring at the flashing cursor on a blank screen trying to think of the best words, the most profound words, the funniest or deepest words. today is no different so in the effort of not missing out on my few minutes of free time (free time what?!) i'll just write!

i feel like i blinked and i have an almost six month old. i truly got to savor my first three months at home and then came survival mode. working and having a baby is hard. not complaining or trying to one up any particular situation. it's just hard. it hasn't gotten easier to leave her (it will get easier they say, i guess me not crying everyday is easier) and i haven't enjoyed being away any more (maybe if i liked my job more?) but what i have learned is that regardless of where i am or the day i had i want to be filled with joy.

3 months. miss personality is wondering why i'm taking all these pictures

joy comes pretty easy from being around my girl. she lights up my days and changes my mood in an instant. she reminds me of whats important and makes me want to be a better version of myself. but being a mom comes opportunities to get down on yourself. am i doing the right thing, spending enough time, wearing the right wrap, using the right sleep method, and don't get me started on all the books i could read to point out what i'm not doing. compare, compare, compare.

the people that i want to be like the most, or those that i connect with the most at least are those people who are genuine, who are real...not acting like everything is put together or perfect...but are filled with joy and laughter.

4 months. now why exactly do we keep doing this? aren't i getting a little big to fit on this thing?

this got me thinking, what makes me joyful, what makes me happy, what do i want to spend my days doing? i'm still praying on this one and asking God to reveal my heart, his desires for me, and how i can best serve him in my days but what i've learned recently is that i want to savor this time. 

i don't want to miss it, i don't want to blink.

5 months. say what mama? the cuteness abounds.

i want to write & capture stories. i want to take more pictures. i want to be on social media less.

(believe me i LOVE me some instagram but i want to enjoy my moments instead of comparing myself to others, oh every 5 seconds when i check my phone. don't get me wrong, i'll still be on there :)

i want to enjoy simple things. i want to not get upset about small things. i want to soak up things.

full of joy. fills me with joy.

so if you are still reading (hello and thank you!) i'll be blogging more, sharing more, chronicling more. i love reading blogs and connecting with people in that way so i thought why not join in the fun again. no beating myself up about what i haven't done or won't do. i found this quote below the other day on some social media site (yes they are good for many things!) and i can't let it go.

comparison is something i've struggled with as long as i remember. i think it comes with a perfectionist personality (another issue to address another day) it steals my joy daily, even sitting here typing i'm wondering if this post is good enough, profound enough, rambling enough maybe?

mama don't you know not to compare yourself to others already?!

so moving forward i choose joy, and i choose not to (try not to) compare. or rather it is my prayer the the Lord will help me focus on these things. i can't do it on my own for sure. and if you come back to my blog i promise it will be filled with mostly the things that do give me joy, like crafts and cooking and babies of course. 

hopefully this lady is done writing and we can all get back to what we really came to see, me.

two months with this little nugget

long days and short weeks. that's how one mother described having a newborn to me before mary frances was born and i'd say that's spot on. i have no idea how 2, almost 3 months have passed since this precious little girl was born! she is already full of personality and makes my heart melt and fills me with joy every second i'm with her.

at one month she was almost 10 pounds and 23 inches. smiled very early at 3 weeks but usually very serious.

she still slept a lot and was pretty easing going. very curious and wanted to figure everything out.

sweet temperament but cautious about the world around her.

at 2 months she was about 11.5 pounds and 23 1/4 inches. starting to smile more and more and just getting cuter by the day! 

still very curious and takes in every detail of the world around her. holding her head up so well and cooing up a storm! everyone says what a sweet, good baby she is.

i could have never imagined how much i would love every these early months and even though it's stretched me i can see how much God is using this little bundle to make me a better person and draw me to Him. it's a beautiful thing to watch such a tiny person change your whole life.

can't wait to see what the next months hold, although i have instructed mary frances to stay a baby forever, or at least let me go to college and be her roommate when she moves out :)

what a better time to return to the blog world than to chronicle the sweetest new addition to the dunaway family. miss mary frances dunaway was born on April 4th at 4:44 pm and has stolen our hearts in just a few short weeks. i am loving every second, even the sleep deprived ones and i am constantly amazed at how God has blessed me with the best "new" thing i could possibly imagine, when i least expected it.

for everything there is a season

it's that time of year again in new orleans where the flowers have been blooming since february, the air is getting a little stickier but not too hot just yet. it's the time where crawfish boils are a plenty and festival season is in full swing. it's one of the most wonderful times of the year here, if you want someone to move to new orleans, get them to visit you in the spring.

there is one catch though to all of this springtime glory, being a forever student. finals and projects and presentations are always due right when the fun starts. this is only compounded when you work full time which results in days spent inside at the computer instead of by the river listening to music with friends. you would think i would be used to it by now, you know having been a student now for the past 25 years of my life, the past 6 of those years being in new orleans, but somehow it still makes me mad. yes, mad.

all this to say i constantly have to remind myself that i'm almost there, it's almost the end, the home stretch (barring a little thing called a dissertation but whose counting) and try to remind myself to study a little harder so that after june i can write, blog, take pictures, decorate my house, cook, and stay up late on week nights (not for school work) and not be stuck inside on beautiful days.

i'm thankful for the reminders of sweet jasmine, that remind me that seasons come and go.

i'm also thankful for seersucker and the man that comes with it that supports me so graciously each day.

so for now i will live out this season as best as i can, and be thankful that it is in fact only a season. then maybe all of my 4 readers left will be able to read posts more frequently about more interesting things! just typing things out makes me feel better already...

not new years, not collards

new year, new ambitions of finishing things i start, starting things i know i will never finish, and finding excuses for not doing either :) i started this blog to document the challenge to myself to strive to do "new" things, which i did every day for a year (even if i only documented 8 months in writing).
so my new "new" challenge to myself for 2012 is three fold: 1) do more of the things that i enjoy/love to do 2) do fewer of the things i think i "should" do 3) do everything i need to do (which i'm still working on figuring out that category). three things in the enjoy/love category are writing, blogs, and pictures so here goes another shot!

so for the randomness of this title: some of our friends gave us a beautiful bunch of kale around new years. i love dark leafy greens and when we used to get a CSA box every week i ate many more of them, i should either start getting that box or buy them more myself! i digress. i wanted to find a new recipe and cooking light had the perfect one (especially because this was the ONE week of winter we had here in new orleans) it came from a collection of winter vegetable recipes.

it wasn't collards but somehow this dark leafy green represented a sign of a new year, new luck (how's that for cheesy...which the dish did have in it and made it even better!) but seriously, it was the first, fresh cooked meal we made of 2012 and the first after many long weeks of finals, traveling, and holiday chaos. it was much needed!!

pasta with black kale, caramelized onions, and parsnips

here's to 2012 (even at the end of january), to more new things, less obligated things, and more needed things

be still my soul

i love the beach. as a teenager i always thought, oh wouldn't it have been more fun if we had gone somewhere else for vacation. oh was i wrong. i'm so thankful that my mom gave us the experience of going to the beach every year when we were growing up.

i have special memories from one beach in particular, seagrove, fl. located next to seaside these white sandy beaches are full of memories, thoughts, books, walks, prayers, laughs, and footprints. my soul is more still at the beach than anywhere else in the world. i see this and somehow everything seems like it will be ok:

this year i was able to go to seagrove with a group of girls who are so special to me, the vandy interns of 2005-2006. these girls represent so much, they welcomed me into their group during a time when my life was turned upside down. i haven't seen many of them in a few years so it was great to catch up, we talked non-stop for the whole time and ate lots of good food. i'm so thankful for these girls and can't wait to catch up next year!

this quick trip was the perfect end to summer and was the perfect respite for me before another semester starts. i plan to make this my screensaver on those days when 24 hours to get stuff done doesn't seem like enough...

be still, my soul;

the waves and winds still know his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below

gooooo dawgs!

since we were rained in today we couldn't go to a dawg game watching party so we stayed in with our dog to cheer on the dawgs. that's a lot of dawgs in one sentence!

so excited that football season is here, i only wish we lived closer to athens!